Bridging the Gap between Exiters and their Religious Counterparts: OTDers Share their Views

• In Event: Leaving Orthodox Judaism: The important role of familial and experiential factors

Abstract

Coexistence between individuals who have stopped practicing Orthodox Judaism and their religious counterparts presents both challenges and opportunities. These individuals, commonly referred to as OTD or off the path, have oftentimes left communities in which they were raised and many have indicated issues within the broader religious community as the impetus for their leaving (Miles, Chavarga, et al., 2023; Newfield, 2020).

The question of coexistence is an important one. Are the differing beliefs among exiters and stayers a wedge that makes alignment impossible? Do their differing lifestyles cause irreconcilable tension between both groups? And what does coexistence really look like? Does it mean living together in the same household? Praying in the same shuls? Attending community events alongside one another? Or is coexistence rather defined by underlying emotions, such as the eradication of judgment and respect for individual autonomy?

In an attempt to provide an objective understanding of what it would take to promote coexistence between exiters and their religious communities, and if, indeed this is even what exiters want, we gathered data from an online survey that included the following open-ended questions: 1) Do you think steps should be taken to improve coexistence between Off the Derech individuals and the Orthodox Jewish community? and 2) If yes, what do you think could be done to improve coexistence between Off the Derech individuals and the Orthodox Jewish community?

A total of 326 OTD individuals responded, 80% of whom reported “Yes” that steps should indeed be taken to improve coexistence between OTD individuals and the Orthodox Jewish community. Through qualitative analysis of responses indicating how coexistence could be achieved, several important themes emerged, including acceptance and respect, reforming Orthodoxy, non-judgement and destigmatization, and dialogue between communities. Interestingly, many of these themes correspond to reported reasons for why individuals disaffiliate from Orthodox Judaism (Miles, Eisen, et al., 2023; Miles, Chavarga, et al., 2023).

These results give voice to hundreds of exiters and provide insight into their lived experiences. Furthermore, they provide the possibility of shaping a future direction where differences are embraced and relationships are based on mutual respect and shared humanity.

Author

• Rona Miles, Brooklyn College, CUNY